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GUNBOAT END-GAME STATEMENTS
GM:
Andy Scott [EGS]
Started: 12 May, 2004
Finished: 23 December, 2004 (Autumn 1913)
Result: Four way draw between England, France, Russia and Turkey
| Country | Player | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Result | | Austria | Chris Goodson | 5 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Anarchy (A04) | | England | Jason de Boer | 4 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 10 | 11 | 11 | 11 | 0 | Drew | | France | Matthew Myatt | 5 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 11 | 12 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 0 | Drew | | Germany | Glenn Russell | 5 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Eliminated (A10) | | Italy | Thomas Gourgolitsas | 4 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Eliminated (A10) | | Russia | Rene Van Duijnhoven | 5 | 5 | 5 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 0 | Drew | | Turkey | Matthew Jennings | 5 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 0 | Drew |
FRANCE (Matthew Myatt) Saturn was my first and only Gunboat game outside of the Admiral competitions on Ally Bain's Psychopath website. so I have to say I am still a bit of a novice at this format but I'm reasonably happy with the way Saturn went. Some (or most) may say that I went for the draw too prematurely at the end considering I was the powerhouse with 13 centres, but I couldn't see any way forward in the north or the south and with England finally forcing the Mid Atlantic I was in a bit of a shaky position to say the least - so I decided to go for the draw at a time that Russia and Turkey would snap it out of my hands rather than leave it til later when I would have been on the back foot in full retreat. Also I think both Russia and Turkey are fully deserving of the draw for their dogged play in surviving the game thus far (especially Russia, who was down and out at one stage!).
I can't remember too much about the early part of the game, or when certain things happened, but the following is the gyst of the game as I saw it. I started off with a standard opening of a support into Bur with a move to MAO and Germany got the upperhand straight away by taking 3 centres. Although England managed to get back into it in 1902. I did have the problem of a rogue German army strolling through my home centres and finally settling in Brest but without support it wasn't too much hassle to isolate and destroy. In these early years I was not intentionally looking for a fight with Italy but since he took my build of F Mar badly and moved against me then I had to think about this scenario, but as soon as Italy saw that I intended to hold my Fleet in Marseille then he withdrew immediately. But I saw this as my chance to gain the upper hand in a fight I had already resigned myself to and moved 3 fleets into Mar, GoL and WMS simultaneously in Autumn 1905 which took Italy totally by surprise and put him on the back foot from which he never recovered. With Turkey attacking from the east, Italy was soon negated as an effective force in the game (and as a serious threat to me). Venice fell and then subsequently after a slow war of attrition the Italian coastal centres, whilst this was all happening I had managed to keep a peace with England by both of us having cover but holding back a respectful distance so as not to cause any consternation between us. But this was rudely broken when England walked into French held Belgium which immediately told me that England had decided I was getting too strong and he had to bring things to a head - which he did. England took Belgium off me in 1910 and this meant that all our fleets came to blows in the Atantic Ocean. I was able to hold the MAO for long enough to finish off Italy and form some sort of defensive stronghold against Turkey, the hinge of which was my F WMS which was able to link both of my naval frontlines with England and Turkey.
England battered away at MAO with all he had and I managed to hold it until I decided I had to take a risk to stop English armies encroaching into Picardy from where they could cut my support from F Bre and subsequently take the critical MAO. My risk and guesswork didn't work and England forced MAO a season earlier than he would otherwise have done. So then it was all hands to the pump to cover Spain, Portugal and Brest whilst blocking any passage into the Med. This I did quite comfortably until the end of the game, but once again I was going to take a risk in the season that the draw was decided by moving F WMS - NAf because I was sure that the English F MAO was going to try to outflank me there - I never did get to see that because England then NMR'd and the draw proposal was accepted on the back of that NMR.
Whilst struggling with England, I was making slow but tedious advancements against Turkey by taking Tri, Bud and Vie from the former Austrian empire. I was considerably helped by the resurgence of Russia as a force to be reckoned with and Turkey was forced to turn away from me and combat this new threat. As I said at the start of this EGS, it may seem strange that I voted for the draw given my centre superiority, but I evaluated the map at that time and decided that I could not expect to take any more centres, and was more than likely to lose some. Although I had 13 units I still did not have enough to comfortably hold both fronts. Had I known that England was going to NMR that very same season then I may have thought differently, but I didn't.
So a draw it is. Thanks to Turkey & Russia for battling on, and also to England for a very interesting struggle in the north. Also thanks to the others nations for playing. Big thanks to Andy for his patience in a game that had so many NMR's early on (and some late on aswell) - players seemed to be NMRing and rejoining all the time (me included). I did genuinely forget one deadline, and also nearly forgot another one, orders for which were accepted at the last minute!! Thanks again Andy and apologies for the forgetfulness.
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RUSSIA (Rene Van Duijnhoven) Saturn - End Game Statements – Russia
Tortoise II
Hello. Have a nice day. Yes. Stand back. I have finally returned from the hospital. Where I have been treated for a severe concussion, several holes in my head and brain damage. Although there have been certain people that have claimed that the brain damage has always been there and is untreatable.(Include me in that number - GM) The whole affair has left me twisted and uncertain of my identity and I feel like I am going all to pieces... Anyway, that`s why I had to wait with sending in an EGS for I could not be reached. Except by ghosts, spirits and people with paranormal powers. And they hated me. I never knew why. There was no explanation for it.
So what? Who needs reasons for a thing like that? Survival is all that matters – except for the horrible scars, but that is a different question. Today we must deal with this EGS, which requires my total attention now. A brainless whore would not say this. The truth is not in them. But I am not a brainless whore. Doctors can testify to this. And if I was, I don`t remember it. Who care? Shit happens. On some days I don`t miss my memory at all... Most days in fact. It is like knowing that you were a jackXXXXXXX (Edited by GM as this is a family site, Sorry Rene!) in your previous life, then somebody tells you to be careful not to scream in your sleep anymore. You start to feel afraid... But not me. I know I am a jackXXXXXXX (Me again - GM!) and I don`t care. I don`t have to deal with me, and the people who do, well, it`s their lot, faith or some silly thing called karma... They must have done something wrong in the past... Punishment is no joke. It`s real. And I`m here to deliver it.
Okay. That`s about it, for now. We can wrap this thing up very quickly, I think... Indeed. And so much for all that. I have to go out in the yard to murder a parrot. A parrot on a stick. And if I fail, he will murder me. Some things never change.
What in somebody`s name was that all about, you thieving son of a bitch! Stay away from the computer and go back to bed. Can`t you just write down something normal for a change? You no good stealing idiot...
Something normal for a change.......
This was my first gunboat game ever. And how was I supposed to know that there are no alliances made in a gunboat game before the first moves are clear. So I decided that I would ally with Turkey and let him into the Black Sea. Which he did. But then he thought that it would be cool or whatever to attack me... Which spelled an early exit for me. From that moment on the only thing to do was survive and battle Turkey. So it was at that point I started thinking Jason de Boer was playing Turkey. For I have been in gamelong battles before with him. Which brings me to another funny fact about this game. Anday, our honorable GM,(Whose name you never could bloody spell correctly you bleeding lunatic!!) started this game out with publishing our names with the first moves made. I was actually playing Germany before getting dealt Russia. Good one Anday. I had a good laugh over that one. Anyway. What else is there to tell about a gunboat game? I kept trying to survive and hammer at Turkey, until around 1908. When Turkey made a mistake, through which I could invade his home country in 1909. Which meant France, who looked like he might get a solo, had even more chance at a solo. I had been thinking of giving France the solo, for the simple fact, that Turkey did not understand me giving him BLA in s01 was a sign that I wanted to work with him. Therefor I kept attacking Turkey and with that giving France more of Italy`s and Turkey`s centers. By now England had conquered my northern centers and was in Stp.
A few things are still baffling me. But most importantly; why did the game end? I still see a lot of options for both England and France. But hey I`m not compaining...
What are my conclusions after all this. Not much; for the accident I was in destroyed the little sense and comprehension that was in me.(I've told you before to stop looking for something that wasn't there in the first place - GM) But one thing is for sure, should I ever play another gunboat game. And if I get dealt Turkey or Russia, I will not give BLA to the other in s01. But I don`t think Gunboat games are for me... I miss the communication part... As for Anday, good job GM`ing and I hope to come across you on the board sometimes...
And that`s about that. The parrot is dead and I have survived. So much for faith and justice. Ooh well, who needs them anyway... I hope everyone is having a nice day and never trust a man who kills parrots for no good reason... Sorry for this end game statement, and thank you all, for this wonderful, wonderful world...
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TURKEY (Matthew Jennings) Let me just start with a very hearty thank you to the GM. What most of you won't know is that in my household over the last 2 months we have had a great deal of illness to cope with. I hope to God we are through it all now but during those weeks it really strained the lives of my son, wife and I to the very limit. This, very unfortunately, made it difficult at times to even answer emails/send in orders. This partly explains one of the NMRs and the delays. For any inconvenience caused to you and the GM I am truly sorry.
Back to the Game. I seem to playing diplomacy nowadays either very well or very badly. And in this case, it was the latter. So, I am relieved by the result and somewhat flattered by it. I can and have played better. But I really made a number of mistakes in this one and was only saved by the disappearance of Austria and then the draw result.
I start off well pulling a fast one on Russia taking position nicely in BLA and Arm. In A1901, I even take Sev and Bul and end up on 5 centres. Not bad for Turkey so early on. Arguably that is my first highpoint in the game.
As Andy's summary of S1902 said, Austria and Russia went after Turkey and that was the problem. I am displaced out of Sev into Rum. At the same time the war between Italy and Austria seems to be far too tame. And with Italian and Austrian fleets lurking round the corner I am a little concerned
A1902 and suddenly, Italy strikes Austria hard - hurray. We have an Austrian sandwich here and opportunities present themselves. But the Austrian NMR wasn't welcome I suppose ......
S1903, Austria goes into Anarchy but I pick up Gre. Italy picks up Vie and the war in the Balkans seems to be cold and at best 2 way between I and myself without much fighting. I foolishly attempt to take Sev when Russia offers his support and maybe that is the reason for Russia's opportunism later in the game? Don't blame him.
A1903 and I pick up 2 centres Ser and Gre to land on 7. Have a strong nucleus but with Italian units buzzing round me. Do I try to hold off Italy and go for Russia's Sev or try to drive out Italy from EMS and have a go for Tri? Ummmm [England NMRs. Could be useful to help France turn on Italy.]
S1904. And now France NMRs. Please someone open a 2nd front on Italy.... pretty please! Italy and I are squaring up for a full on war and Russia lends his support to Italy (not surprising really given my earlier rebuff.)
Now, owing to me working away from home for 7 weeks I have no idea what happened between S1904 and A1906 - damn. But at the end of it, Russia is really struggling and I am back in Sev. I may be out of Ser but France is really slashing at Italy's vitals and this could be my heaven sent opportunity to expand.....
S1907, I don't chose my moves well and seem to be struggling to take any advantage from Italy's predicament. I have fleets where I want armies and vice versa (Rum and Sev)
A1907, I opt for unconventional lines of attack. Reminds me of Byzantine counter-attacks by Justinian. But anyway, the Visigoths were a little less powerful than France is now and I am wondering how long I can hold Tri and Ser. But if I am lucky I could take Rum next season and roll up much of Italy. If I am lucky....
S1908 ... and I spectacularly cock it up. Italy with only 2 units gives my Janissaries a serious wholloping. All the strategic know-how of a single celled organism with a headache. Damn Damn Damn Damn. And that was the moment when I lost the chance to go from minor power on 7/8 centres into the big boys league on 10......
A1908, in sorting out the Balkans nicely, I completely screw up and let Russia walk back into Sev. Talk about giving him a life line. I gambled that he would NMR or else not think about trying to retake his southern centre ... What was I thinking? Doh! On 8 centres and lucky to be on that.
S1909 I gamble again that Russia won't think of going any further than Sev. Another mistake. He wanders into Arm. What for, Cher? I don't think so and I can't stop him from taking Smy next turn. Oh, I take Bud and seem to have a very nice stalemate line brewing but for my mistake with the Russian. I should have tried to retake Sev rather than support him there. Double Doh!
A1909 and then just when I am actually at my strongest in the game... I go and NMR. Can't remember why. Must be senility, stupidity and just bloody laziness. There wasn't a good reason I know that. Sorry all.. and I am rightly punished in the game or not as the case may be. France grabs Vie down to my indolence. Russia seems to be interested in the holy land rather than my centres. So surprisingly I am on 9 centres but with a wandering Bedouin-cum-Russian army in my rear and my front and centre firmly entrenched behind a blue wall I don't see any further gains unless England starts to learn what to do with his fleets.
S1910 and then I nearly NMR again. This time food poisoning was to blame but then I could have sent in provisionals. I was being too thoughtful and not taking sufficient care to make sure orders were in early. Idiot. My days are numbered. Russia's Bedouin army finishes it sightseeing of the holy land decides to have a look at Troy now so it wanders unopposed into Smy. Meanwhile, France is massing all its fleets to attack ION. And that will be the start of me losing Tri then Ser etc.
A1910 And so it happens. More muppetry from Me. Russia, the opportunist sneaks into Rum which I had calculated in leaving open to defend against France. So I end up with a big undefendable salient and the need to retake close territories while sacrificing others. I am playing this game so badly.
S1911 So I lose Tri to regain Rum. I lose Con to regain Smy but am already feeling that that battle with the Bedouin Russians will be less successful. I am going down fast here.
A1911 Russia is starting to get up my nose. Look I am really sorrry for repeatedly taking Sev and snubbing your support but can't we cease this unnecessary war between us. Can't we just be happy and send each other attractive concubines/ tennis players? Can't we end this silly conflict and concentrate on the more important things in life? Wine, women and giving France a damn good stuffing?
S1912. Apparently Not. My Bud, Ser, Gre empire reminds me of the earlier Austrian sandwich and he got bitten rather nastily by his voracious neighbours. England's inroads into Russia seem to make Russia even more interested in my territories. Yes they are mine, do you hear me? Mine. I baggsied them and if any of my units ever walk into them then they will always be mine even if some other country squats in them for a few decades. These jumped up Russians in Ank and Rum. Nobody wanted them there. Bleeding asylum seekers.
A1912 and then I NMR. This was the beginning of the bad time. Our son William had caught a chest infection towards the end of November which turned into pneumonia. He finally got rid of it with the aid of anti-biotics which also made him vulnerable, I think, to other infections. But at the start of that week it came back. He is only 3 and a half. And then I caught it off him. And then he developed conjunctivitis. Then I caught that off him. My wife caught the flu from me. I got tonsillitis as well. My mother came down to look after us all and she got tonsillitis after 4 days just as William was on the mend and so was I. But my coughing caused me to cough my back out. It was bloody agony for about a week while getting over the bronchitis. My wife's ingrowing toe-nail started to cause her real problems again. I am writing this EGS on Boxing Day and to date, my Bronchitis has mostly cleared up although I am still on anti-biotics, my wife's flu is getting better and so is her toe but she is still on anti-biotics. Our son is much better but is far thinner than he was. I have lost a stone and a half and none of us have had a drink for weeks. And now my wife wants to go to the bloody sales tomorrow. ARGH!!!!! This is written in jest but the facts here have ruined our Christmas and made life somewhat difficult over the last 6 weeks. So the NMR helped France and Russia but really screwed me more than I had done to myself earlier in the game.
S1913. And at last England seems to be putting real pressure on France but something tells me that he will not be able to save me. I can't boot the Bedouins out of Ank and a concerted push from France will take Ser from me quite easily. My number is up.
A1913. Salvation is an EGP. And I didn't propose it or most of the others in this game either. Thank goodness for it though.
In the end, I was luckier than I deserved in this game. France played well and Russia survived through very audacious play on his part and inept playing on mine. Well done to both. I suspect Italy was just unluckier than I was. A fortuitously timed and voted for EGP would have saved him and no doubt he would rue it not happening when he needed it. Don't remember much about Germany - sorry. Austria got himself lulled into a 2 front war not of his own choosing. He had little control of the situation and shouldn't blame himself for it. His anarchy was a true shame. I felt a little for him. And England... Oh England, you seemed to take for ever to come to my rescue. But then I suppose you were thinking, when will that bleeding Turkey come to my rescue. Not in this game mate, Turkey was played by Worzel Gummidge this time I am afraid (and not with his thinking heads on either.)
Anyway, thanks again to Andy for being such a kind and considerate GM. Hope his back is better and that he has settled nicely into his nice house. Best of luck to the rest of you,
Regards, Matthew
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GM (Andy Scott) This was without doubt one of the toughest games I have as yet had to GM!
It started horrendously by me making an almighty cock-up and sending everybody the names of their opponents! Oh well bloody done Einstein!!
Luckily we were right at the beginning of the game so everyone was agreeable to a re-draw of countries and away we went again. Overall the players were sympathetic whith my mistake whilst trying not to laugh openly in their GM's face, all apart from the certifiable maniac called Rene playing Russia who was more then happy to laugh in my face :-((
Then the game got underway properly, well it would have done if I could have got all seven players playing at the same time!!! The first was Austria NMR'ing in A02 and again in S03 and hence his Anarchy. This understandably irritated me and then to my horror a fellow GM Jason de Boer NMR's. Stern words were had I can tell you!
Spring 04 and England returns but France another highly experienced player NMR's!!! By now with true diplomacy paranoia I'm thinking the buggers have got together and decided to wind me up, I half expected an 6 way EGP to be presented and accepted!
A04 and no NMR's, so 50% of game turns by the eighth turn had full participation, great the only way that stat can go is up surely?
WRONG! S05 Germany takes his turn ;-/ A05 and some stern words were used by the GM bu by beating people around the head with the deadline I managed another of those rareities a turn with no NMR's, hurrah for me :-))
Of course that meant in S 06 I took my eye off the ball and got two NMR's in the same turn! Another one from England and the first from Russia which was why the adjudication was late as I hadn't had dutch answer to the Tazmanian devil dribbling in my ear for the first time in weeks! And so it went on, the ONLY player not to NMR in the entire game was Tomcut in ITaly but I think he was still drunk from the European cup and Olympic celebrations earlier in the year? Anyway Tomcut thanks very much for paying attention to the deadlines. The rest of you can go hence into the endless night of shame and despair with the exception of Matthew in Turkey whose home problems were I am willing to admit sufficient excuse for his NMR's.
What with all that and the sending out of extra deadline reminders I completely lost track of the game itself!!! How on Earth did that Spawny Dutch git get back in the game? I had his grave dug all in preparation and he never turned up for the burial!!!
This was a game of extremes, when everybody turned up it was great and when they didn't it was dire! You would think given the amount of NMR's somebody would have been made to pay for it but no! Austria going into Anarchy had little real effect because those that got an advantage from it insisted on giving it back by not turning up!
Poor Italy made some great moves but was continually undone by his opponents doing the one thing he hadn't counted on....not turning up!
Well I think you get the drift, I was completely unsurprised by the game ending in a draw due to an NMR, I was half afraid it would actually end in implosion by every sodding one of them going into anarchy simultaneously! An extreme ending I know but by this stage I didn't trust them to sit on the loo correctly!!!
What more can I say then thank you for a game that has left me needing psychiatric help! I wish you all good health and happiness :-)) Andy
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